Few weeks ago, I had a chance participating at one of the workshops delivered by Git Guldare, during one of the Rotary Club’s Leadership Academy events. It was about Successful Dialogue.

What is Dialogue?

It seems like an easy word but in reality is pretty complex as it is defined like: an exchange of ideas or opinions on a particular issue where people are trying to reach an amicable agreement or settlement.

Now it does not sound so easy like it did before. In order to make it successful it is necessary to have certain abilities:

– Listen: It is not easy task when you stop to think about it, it is not just listening but also understanding what other person is trying to transmit.

– Respect: In order to be successful you are going need respect and debate different opinions, otherwise the dialogue won’t be successful, because as we said, you should end up with amicable agreement.

– Wait: Give some time to reflect, in order to be able follow up, understand people’s ideas. Not just giving impulsive opinions.

– Talk genuinely and sincerely: well that is the key of success also, if you are not sincere you are not going be happy with the final outcome.

The model which shows different stages of dialogue is:

At the beginning we start with monologues, where people express their opinions about some topics, but there are normally some conflicts on the way to successful dialogue, which can turn into mutual reflections in order to agree on something at the end.

The interesting thing about this model is that you can go back and forward from stage 1 to 3 until you really reach 4th stage, where we can agree that the dialogue has been successful.

This model is really simple, it is general overview of what we need to have in mind, but there are other external factors which could make it more efficient like previous preparation, experience in dialoguing, time availability that you have, really willingness to achieve this successful dialogue and much more.

I would like to reflect a bit more on time, willingness and previous preparation

– Timing: how much time can you spend on this dialogue? As we said, it could go back and forwards from 1 to 3 until finishing it, you can spend a lot of time, so it is really important that you are no in rush, because you could not achieve this successful dialogue otherwise.

– Willingness: How much do you want to have it successful? If you don’t really want it, you will never achieve stage 4.

– Previous preparation: This is my favorite one! If you know who are you going debate with, then you can prepare yourself better, analyse what are the +/- aspects of the dialogue. Knowing who are you going debate with, imagine that you know that he could have difficulties to reach this successful dialogue, you could guide him through the process or even show the process to him in advance.